慢慢找到了一班朋友了，我們會在晚上樓梯口前隔著鐵欄聊到三四點、會坐ＢＵＢＵ車去按摩去唱Ｋ，會一起上課不聽書。在這裡的朋友有的很真誠，和我一樣都是交出心來的，也有一些是你永遠都摸不清猜不透，有時候你會覺得他們對你很好，是你的朋友；有時候，你會覺得他們根本不尊重你，當他朋友只是你自己一廂情願。有時候你會想分享自己的事，有時候又會怕被人知道太多。

　　大學生活已經過了兩個月了，該適應的都適應了，雖然有時候會想念勞校的老師同學。

　　我不喜歡一個人，一個常常自以為是、整天都盯著你的表情看、猜度你的思想，自己永遠是對的，人家怎麼都是笨的傻的懶勁的。我很想說。。。其實你打球一點都不厲害，動作也不對也難看，進不了羽協是應該的。明明自己是抽煙的，每天晚上都站在出面抽煙，卻告訴人家沒有，也不許我說出去，明明自己已經有一個多年的女朋友，卻在這裡明目張膽的追別的女生。我都不知道為什麼初初我會聽你的。還有，你講粗口真的很難聽，比我們班任何一個都要難聽，你每一次開口都是負能量，很討厭。

little litte litte thought!

I suddenly recovered the reality in China today during English lesson and PE lesson.

In English lesson, when teacher taught about the word ‘perk’, she also mentioned about the grey salary which civil officers earn. Do you know what grey salary means exactly? It is about the benefit that civil officers received since someone beg for their help. This kind of help might be their duties yet it becomes a method for them to earn extra benefits. In Hong Kong, this is already illegal! Although I cannot say that this situation will absolutely not take place in Hong Kong, at least, luckily, earning grey salary will surely not be the main reason to attract youngsters to be a civil officer.

In PE lesson, teacher explained about the advantages of learning badminton. One of the reason seemed to me that is unbelievable and unreasonable. She said that if you are familiar with badminton, it might help your future career. The explanation is when your future boss wants to play badminton and you know how to play, you can show off yourself and flatter you boss easily through playing badminton with him. How cruel the fact is!

I admit that these things are true and should be known but I still refuse to face. I just want to be simple, loyal and even a little bit stupid.

Be honest, I am not as simple as everybody think about me. I am actually not as innocent, happy and kind as I looked. I always feel lonely, complicated and annoyed but I am trying to strike a balance.

In my theory, if you are not intelligent enough to avoid cheating by other, you’d better to be stupid enough to be cheated with no hard feel and even cannot smell a rat. In this case, at least you can still live happily!

It has been 3 weeks ago since I started my JNU life. The same as what I thought before, I miss my family, my friends and my life in Hong Kong so much.

I was really worried about my new life in JNU when I was confirmed to be a student of JNU. I was afraid that I cannot communicate well with my new classmates and roommates. I was afraid that I have to be alone with no friends. Luckily, I meet some nice classmates. They accept me and let me in.

  Be honest, at the very beginning, I felt totally depressed and regretted. I am the monitor in my class which means I am surely busier than other classmates as I have to collect their information, forms and run here and there every day to help both teacher and classmates. I felt sad when my classmates didn’t understand my situation and thought that I was not trying my best to help them. I felt angry when teacher ordered me to collection classmates’ work suddenly which made their hate me. I felt lonely when I must to ‘travel across’ the classroom and office while other are having their meal happily after class.

  To my luck, these terrible experiences are already passed! Nowadays, I have my sweet friends, thoughtful classmates. Just forget about those ‘nice’ teacher!

  Although it seems that most of my difficulties are tackled, there are three extremely vital issue that I cannot deal with.

  First, because of the reasonable price of snacks and food and also comfortable environment, I become fatter and fatter! HELP!!! My weight keeps increasing rapidly! HORRIBLE! Therefore, to avoid becoming a pig, I plan to play badminton and gym after the holiday. If you think I can ,I can!

  Secondly, since there is actually lack of chances to speak and practice English, I have already lost my ability to express myself through English. Therefore, this English blog exist! I hope that I can push myself to practice English in the following years.

  Last but not least, in fact , same as my worry, I cannot get along well with my roommates. Now, I am trying to apply for changing room.

No time to continue my writing, C U next time.

功課

　　很多選讀新聞系的人都是把有宏大的理想、清淅的目標，想要成為反映社會時弊、揭露事實真相的正義使者，又或是簡單一點、現實一點的以筆謀生、以筆成名。但，當我報讀這科時，我並沒有以上的想法，我甚至沒有考慮過將來會投身傳媒或相關的行業。在我的構想中，將來的我應該只是在一些小公司或政府部門中，平平淡淡、安安穩穩的工作一輩子。我的目標不是要當名報名刊的總編記者，亦不是要名成利就，我的目標只是建構一個屬於自己的幸福家庭。

　　或許很多人會認為，這個目標未免有點難登大雅之堂了。這樣微不足道的小小目標，何須要如此努力的上大學、何須花四年時間去吸取如此專業的知識呢？ 是的，單單為了組織家庭，的確用不著上大學，但我希望可以將我的感受、我的興趣、我的所思所想全都和家人分享，亦和我身邊的人分享，而我相信這個專業將會讓我成表一個更能表達自己思想感受。

　　從小開始，我便很喜歡看書。儘管只是看一些有故事性的小說，但我仍然沉醉在文字的世界。我的理想是可以成為能夠駕馭文字的人，讓別人也會因為我的文字而了解到文字的樂趣，特別是我的下一代。我希望憑藉著這四年的知識、用我這四年來培養的對人對事的批判思維、以我這四年來鍛鍊而來的流暢文筆，為我的子女作出適切的教育和培養，希望他們將來會代替我更全面、更投入的建設社會。

　　為了達成我的目標、我的理想，我將好好利用這四年建立獨立的思考模式、駕馭文字的能力，當然，我亦要透過這短暫的大學時光去為日後投身社會作好準備、學習與人相處共事、建立人際網絡。

朋友，我最喜歡便是你了！
有時候，我會羨慕、我會妒忌、我會惹麻煩、我會鑽牛角尖、我會炫耀、我會自閉。。。
謝謝你把我的一切感覺照單全收。
你總是知道我需要的是耳朵和擁抱，
你總是會在我有麻煩而又闊佬懶理時替我想辦法，
你總是樂意接受這個小心眼得很的鄭伉絲。
對著你，我不用裝。
我不用苦惱為什麼我交不出反應，
我不用因為皮笑肉不笑而自責，
我不用害怕被視為悶蛋、書呆子，
終於有個時間，情緒不高亢也不覺突兀。

最近我真的苦惱，
很多時候，我真的興奮不起來。
為什麼大家可以笑得人仰馬翻，而我還是例牌微笑著、苦思笑點在何處？
最怕最討厭這種格格不入的感覺。
和一大班朋友一起的時候，
大家你一言我一語，
我聽著聽著，無言以對。
感覺就似一個人處身鬧市，
無人感覺到我的存在，
重點是我突出不到我的存在，
繼而，我感覺不到我的存在和價值。

事實上，ＨＩＧＨ也可以訓練出來的嗎？就是成功練出來了，也不是真正發自內心的吧？